My deepest apology...

I know I have been absent for far to long now. I apologize. I ensure you, I will return full fledged with lots of new updates! 

I am finally a stay-at-home wifey! It's wonderful! This is my first full week as a freelancer... and so far, so good. I'm really glad this is my first week home too, because it has already snowed and you know I don't like to drive in the snow! 

Although, honey-do made me go to the grocery store all by myself and it was scary. Just kidding. it went fine. And I do have to admit I kinda liked being able to take my time as I went through the grocery story... I wasn't rushed like I normally am, and I think I remembered everything! 

I don't know that Sadie (our Jack Russell Terrier) likes me being home. It really has changed her daily routine. Not to mention, when I get bored and start singing at the top of my lungs to the holiday commercials on TV, she kinda gets angry. And she looks at me like I am crazy sometimes. But, I guess it would be just like having a teenager! haha

Well, its getting late... I should probably get some shut-eye... you know, busy day tomorrow! :)

Become a soldier's pen pal

Here's an awesome opportunity to help the soldiers in Iraq!

One of my friends received this e-mail from a corporal whose squad will be leaving for Iraq at the end of November. He's asking for pen pals for people in his squad. The soldiers would love to receive letters, care packages, etc. This would be a great chance to keep their spirits up — especially with the holidays just around the corner. 

Contact Cpl. Roger "Roddy" Keene at roddawg10@yahoo.com and he'll send you the mailing address of somebody in his squad. There's no additional cost for postage — all APO addresses are priced the same as domestic mail, so you can just slap on a stamp and send it out. 

NEWS FLASH

I have officially announced my "retirement," if you will, from the current workplace. 

I love my job here as an assistant editor. But my drive back and forth, as well as the unstable work hours, well, basically drove me crazy. So, Honey-do and I decided it was time to consider leaving the workplace and start working from home. 

I will be freelance writing for the same magazine I am at now, as well as branching out to a few new magazines around this area. I am looking forward to some downtime though!! 

My hopes, prayers and goal is to get my stress levels in check and begin a great daily diet and exercise routine! We will see how that goes! :)

I sure hope you have voted!!

Voting is a privilege and your natural born right. I sure hope and pray you have voted... I did! :) 

But, I can't tell you who I voted for. Let's just say it was a hard decision, not an easy one. But I did it for the first time on my own accord. 

I took the time to review my sample ballot and research each candidate (not only the presidential nominees, but also Senate and House Reps)  and their plans for office. I made a decision to vote for the man I think will do the best job to his ability. 

And I am now praying for our nation at this time of new leadership. 

Have you ever Googled yourself?

A dear friend from college wrote on her blog about the magnificent usage of technology. She praises the use of social networking by means of the Internet. However, she warns that employers are looking to Facebook and MySpace to see the "true colors" of their future employees. 

While reading her post, I began asking myself, what do people see when they Google me? So, I tried it! Wow, the things I found. I was proud to find some of my articles that have been published in the Angus Journal. I also found some news releases about winning scholarships at Oklahoma State University. But, then I found that I am not the only Tosha Powell in the world! And that is always interesting. 

Just for fun I looked up names of all my family members. I saw that my mother-in-law shares the name of a professional interior designer. Honey-do shares  a name of a company with the same name. My father-in-law has a common name with MANY people! My father shares a name with a politician, and my mother shares her name with a children's book author.

Finding these names on the Internet made me think of two very important things.

1. It is VERY important to consider the names you give your children. It might not be a bad idea to Google a name you might potentially give your next baby. Just to make sure they don't share the name with something or someone that will cause them grief later in life.

2 However, the most reassuring thing I found, my friends, is that my Facebook and MySpace profiles were not available for public viewing. 

Just as my fellow blogger states in her blog, please, if you want to be sure you are creating a positive image for future employers, set your privacy on your networking sites. Or, if you have nothing to hide, leave them searchable. 

But always remember, Big Brother is watching you! 

Movies I am lovin' on ...

I must have been born in the wrong century. Really. Why, you ask? Because I love pre-20th century flicks, such as these below. They are my new favorite attractions. I watch them every time they appear on my cable box. I love the way they wrote, talked, wore clothes, oh how I wish I could wear fancy dresses they way they do, and speak with such poise. 

So, if you are looking for a good old-timey flick, enjoy these: 

Becoming Jane

Atonement

Pride and Prejudice

The Other Boleyn Girl

Elizabeth: The Golden Age

These movies are great. Maybe it is because each of them has a wonderful cast of characters. But, either way. I love 'em!

Diets stink... literally

So, I've been trying to be very good lately and eat the right things for my diet. But, I've got to tell you... diets stink. Well, at least Tuna does. lol 

And, then here's some less stinky news!  My good friend, Larry (Best-Friend-For-Life, BFFL, in college)  and his wife are expecting their first baby in April. I'm super excited for them. And, he is super nervous, already! He's keeps asking me questions about pregnancy and about the first couple of months after the baby is born... I quickly reminded him that I have not had the priviledge of birthing a child yet, so to ask his very pregnant sister, who has a two-year-old and his other sister has a four-year-old. 

But, that made me sad and thinking I would like to start a family. But, I've got things to do first apparently. Like, make more money. Is that possible? Who knows! But, maybe, if TPphotography takes off! 

Pray for rain! So, Honey-do doesn't waste more money watering the lawn! :) j/k

Seeing the light....

Yay for three-day weekends! Labor day is coming up and  boy am I excited! "Why?" you ask. Because it means I will only have to drive to work four days next week, and it means that my parents are FINALLY coming to Olathe to see my house! (Well, my mom already has done, that, but you know what I mean.) I am very excited that my dad and my brother are coming to see my house for the first time. Although, this means I have to clean! 

Also, I am having a hard time trying to figure out what to do with them when they get here. They are farm folk, not really into the whole big city thing. They don't really like baseball, so taking them to a game is out of the question. They don't like to spend money — well, mom does, but this time dad is with her — so the mall is out of the question. My brother is coming and he is only 16, so even going to the Power & Light District to go bowling is out of the question (it's 21 & up). So, any ideas what to do with the old fogies? lol j/k They're not fogies.

The title to this blog is "Seeing the Light." You may ask what does she mean by that... Well, let me tell you... not a whole lot. I don't really mean at the end of the tunnel, cuz  I think I am so deep in whatever I am in here to believe that I am in a tunnel. It's more like a deep, dark hole. But, I am seeing light. Does this mean that I may have dug my way out of my hole and come out on the other side??? Only time will tell! 

I'm sorry

So, I'm sorry I haven't updated anything lately. There's been a lot going on with me.

I've been kinda in a depressed mood, and it has been affecting my entire world. I'm not happy at work, I get happy at home, but then I get sad, because at the end of the day, I remember that I have to go right back to work. It's been hard on Honey-do. I'm tired of being in this slum. I'm tired of being hateful or down-in-the-dumps every night when I get home. It's not healthy for me, and it's not fair to Honey-do.

I miss all my friends. I miss my family. I am not so sure that we are ever going home though. :( 

I need all your prayers (if you're into that) and support. Although, I need to remember that I need to give it all to God too.

P.S. I went to the doctor. I have blood tests on Saturday to determine if I have something called Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. The doctor says he doesn't really think I have it, but if I want the test then I should take it. I think I would rather know now,  just in case. Because it can cause problems when Honey-do and I decide to start a family. So, I want to know now. And do what I can now to heal it. So, when we are ready to start a family, there won't be any surprises. 

P.S.S. I'm working from home today. I'll be back at work tomorrow. :)

Back to business

So, I am back to work now and all caught up. Sorry I've been away so long. Honey-do's grandmother passed away last week, so we were in OK for the funeral and to be with our family. 

And as soon as we got home, all things broke loose at work. We were in the middle of a large production cycle and my boss kinda lost her nerve. I ended up working a lot of overtime last week, and even missed a photography opportunity last weekend. What does all this mean? One very angry AngelVoice.

A very good family friend got married last weekend. Now, mind you, they had really only asked me to be the photographer at this wedding like two weeks before it, I still said yes! I was looking forward to a wonderful experience of a first-time wedding shoot. I'm still a very green photographer when it comes to weddings, so I needed the practice! Not to mention, I would have been at the wedding anyway, right? 

Nope. A "work-weekend" was needed. And because a co-worker had asked off for a wedding that took place the same weekend as my friends, he got the privilege of not having to come in that Saturday. I didn't know I had to ask off for weekends, or run my weekend plans over with my boss. How silly of me to not realize my 8 to 4:30 Monday through Friday job, my 40-hours per week salary-type of job, needed me to ask off for my Saturdays. 

I however, had to call my friend and tell them that their photographer couldn't make it. How awful did I feel? I was sick to my stomach.

So I worked. I wrote stories, edited pictures, edited other people's stories and layouts, worked, worked, worked. Missed the wedding, and then remembered I was also supposed to call my cousin and her fiance for an engagement session while I was home. SO I had to call her an apologize for having to miss. Then I worked some more. 

Come Monday morning, we are still crunching time to try to get our magazine finished. But, something happens that make me lose my nerve. That co-worked who had to be gone for a wedding, the wedding he "asked off for," well, that wedding was Friday night. His saturday and sunday was spent playing in a co-ed softball tournament in his hometown!!!!!!! 

Imagine my rage when I heard this. 

HE KNOWS HOW IMPORTANT PHOTOGRAPHY IS TO ME. HE KNOWS I HAD BEEN SUPER-EXCITED TO BE ASKED TO SHOOT THIS WEDDING. HE KNEW WE WERE SUPPOSED TO COME IN AND WORK. Yet he still chose to go play softball. He still got out of it because our boss thinks he was at a wedding. 

But I'm over it, really! :)

A family update

So, my family is going through a really hard time right now. Our Nanny (Honey-do's grandmother) is basically in a coma right now. Please keep our family in your prayers, and hopefully within a few days or in a couple weeks things will be back to normal around here. 

Thanks,

AngelVoice

here's a teaser

Sunday morning. Still half asleep... wake up to take the pooch outside: missed first step of stairs... slid down the rest of the way on my backside. 

Needless to say: so sore today! Ouchie!

P.S. I also got a new haircut and color! :) Will post pictures of that later! 

Why do women have to work too?

So, normally I am one of those women who really enjoy working and I am really glad the women's rights movement is over and we have equal opportunities as men. But, today, I am really wishing that those garsh darn women would have just let well-enough alone and accepted that women have enough to do at home. 

If you couldn't tell, I am letting myself get easily stressed and overworked this week. I thought I had everything under control. I thought my job was smooth sailing. I thought my affairs were in order. NOPE. Excuse my analogy when I say "Shit has hit the fan."

Two weeks ago: I was stressing out to get things ready for my work trip to Des Moines, Iowa, for the National Junior Angus Show. One other co-worker and myself were the only two attending from my office and were (still are) the only two providing coverage (photos and stories) of the event. Needless to say, I was in a panic. So I pre-wrote a few sections of a few stories, knowing that I would have only three weeks to write 10-15 stories when I got home. 

Last week in Des Moines: I had a great time! I met a lot of new people and was able to put faces with names I either hear or read about monthly. However, I learned that I do not have as much patience with a co-worker as I thought I did. That person ended up driving me nuts that week. 

This week back home: I was so happy to finally be home. I missed Honey-do so much. I was glad to get back to the normal working world and was actually excited to get after my 10 stories due in three weeks. I get a job offer from a great advertising agency in Kansas City, but turn it down because I don't really think I will be happy there. It is a job that would stifle my creativity, but it would pay great. But I really don't know that I would like the job itself. 

The awful day today: I lost an entire story due to my own stupidity. I accidentally saved a not so written version of a story over a well-written, in fact, almost completed version of a story. NOT FUN.  (Today, I am wondering what the crap I was thinking in turning down the job offer.)

But in all. I am glad to be home. I am thankful for my wonderful husband who tries to help keep me sane. I am thankful for my friends: Mandy, Mandy and Kelli for being my confidantes and shoulder to lean on. I am sore (from working out with Kelli.... but that is a WHOLE other conversation!!) 

 I hope to have pictures from last week up at TPphotography soon!

Check it out:

Great things are happening over at TPphotography. Go check it out!!!! :)

Here's a small weight update

So, my friend from work told me she was reading this and it was great.... and I thought to myself... "Self, what on earth made it so great?" I really couldn't remember what some of my older post said. So, I came on here and read my stuff. It's funny how you can vividly remember a feeling or something that was causing me to feel the way I felt during those older posts. 

I promise I will get to the beef of this post soon!

However, I haven't been doing what I promised myself I would do. And that is dieting. I like to pretend I am, I suppose. But I haven't. Which makes me sad now, looking back at older posts. I am still the same person, with the same hopes and dreams (children, activities, etc.) but I am still the same weight. I haven't done anything about it... 

Well, today is the day my friends. Today, I will change. No matter what time I get home from work tonight, I will go walking. Even though it is honey-do's birthday and I have to cook him an elaborate meal, I will watch my carbs, calories, fat, etc. I WANT TO CHANGE. 

Pray for me. :-/

Young Family photos

A few weeks ago I took these: 



And I remembered why I love photography so much. But to see more, please visit tpphotography!!!
 

A session to complain, please forgive me

So I am in the need to gripe a little. More like cry. This has been the WORST Wednesday EVER. Let's start with me sleeping too late. I ran around like a chicken with no head this morning trying to get out the door in a fashionably late time. NOPE.

Then, get in the car and the tank is on EMPTY. I have to stop for gas now, putting me another 10 minutes behind. 

THEN, I get on the Interstate driving to work and there was a HUGE accident the night before, and they have shut down COMPLETELY about 2 miles of the Interstate. We were redirected off the Interstate and had to take some back alley detour around to get back on the Interstate on the other side of the crash. Now, I am 45 minutes late. 

Then, I walk in and my boss's assistant gives me a look and says, "Well, Good Morning." But she said it with an attitude, like "Nice of you to join us today." Which, sucks, because my boss is on a business trip to Canada this week, and I am sure that her assistant will be telling her that I was 45 minutes late to work. EErrrrgghh. 

Now, for the real killer of the morning. I have told you all before, that I am an editor/writer for a well-known cattle magazine. Well, last month there was an intern from another department that wrote a press release. I wrote an introductory paragraph, then added the rest of her press release to a feature story we printed in the magazine. I did NOT attribute anyone, because I didn't know who to give the byline to. Well, someone else in my department saw that I started the file, saw that I wrote some of it, so they put my name in the byline. I NEVER saw the story again until the magazine was printed. The intern from the other department complained to my boss, now I am the one in trouble for this MISTAKE. I have to give HER an apology and state that it was MY fault and I should have been the one to proof the layout. ERRRGGHHH... 

I guess that wreck that caused havoc this morning should have been my signal to stay at home in bed today. 

But I will quit my complaining and get back to work now. Stories I can actually call my own won't get written unless I write them. :(

It's good to be home....

I'm so glad that I was able to visit my family (the WHOLE family) last week. But let me tell you, it's good to be home! :) 

I took 5 days off work for "vacation.." However, two of those days, I spent with my mom at my house. She had never been to my house and was here for a week to kick off her summer vacation. It was fun. We went shopping and she helped me paint my bedroom! That was fun!

Then, the weekend of June 7 came about.... woah... getting ahead of myself there... Thursday came and Honey-do and I met his parents and his grandparents in Chickasha to begin our road trip to Midland, Texas! That was fun!!! Really, it was neat to see the changing landscapes. It was fun to spend time with the family. 

But the real reason we went to Texas was for Honey-do's cousin's, we'll call him Cowboy, wedding! Here are a few pictures! 

It was a lot of fun! :) 

I am also posting more of these on my photography web site: tpphotography.wordpress.com.

Answer the following with only one word.

1. Where is your cell phone? .................... purse

2. Your significant other?....................... Garmin
3. Your hair?.................................... blah
4. Your mother? ................................. Beautiful
5. Your father?.................................. Hero
6. Your favorite thing?.......................... family
7. Your dream last night?........................ none
8. Your favorite drink........................... Dr. Pepper
9. Your dream/goal?.............................. children
10. The room you're in?.......................... office
11. Your children?..................................... God's mind (I know, two words, shame on me.)
12. Your fear?................................... Santa
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years........... Oklahoma
14. Where were you last night?................... Olathe
15. What you're not?............................. brave
16. Muffins...................................... banana
17. One of your wish list items?................. studio
18. Where you grew up?........................... Amber

19. What you read last........................ Narnia
20. What are you wearing?........................ brown
21. Your TV?..................................... off
22. Your pets?................................... home
23. Your computer? .............................. Mac!
24. Your life?................................... Great!
25. Your mood?................................... sleepy
26. Missing someone?............................. yes
27. Your car?.................................... ford
28. Something you're not wearing?................ necklace
29. Favorite Store?.............................. target
30. Your summer?................................. hot
31. Like someone?................................ love
32. Your favorite color?......................... pink
33. Last time you laughed........................ today
34. Last time you cried?......................... yesterday

I'm Late.... what's new?

My dear cousin, Amy, tagged be to list seven random facts about myself. Well, here it goes...

1. I love to tan. Now, I'm a bigger girl, but I love to go to the tanning salon. It totally relaxes me.

2. I want to own my own photography studio. I really am working towards that goal, visit my photography site: TP Photography.

3. I am obsessed with American Idol. I am sooooooo very happy that David Cook won last night! Just love him. But I have aspirations of become a great singer one day.

4. I hate celebrity gossip, but have People.com in my bookmarked pages. I love to read about all the troubles celebrities get themselves into, and then I thank God for all the wonderful normal things that happen in my life. 

5. I can't wait to go to New York one day. I am DYING... seriously, everyday it gets harder to breathe, let alone get out of bed ... to see a Broadway production. 

6. I love lightning but am terrified of storms. I grew up in Tornado Alley, Oklahoma. What do you expect?

7. I am a BIG momma's girl. I miss my mom so much sometimes. I can get really baby-ish if I go too long without seeing  my family. 

A photography site!

Hello friends! I have just created a photography site! :) I'm very excited by this and hope to get some great photos up soon for your viewing pleasure! Take a sneak-peak at the beginnings of TP Photography.

Writer's block...

I have had a case of writer's block for two weeks now. Which to some may not seem like that big of a deal, however, when you are an editor for a major livestock publication, with story deadlines quickly approaching... that's a bad, bad thing. My mind has lost all flows of creative juices to subjects I NEED to be writing about. Instead, I create limericks and short essays in my head about finding a new job, my teeth falling out, how to lose weight, when should we start to plan for a family, etc. 

Ahhh, babies. I have that on my mind a lot lately. My best friend and roommate from college, Mandy, is only three days away from having her baby! (I can officially say three days, because, if she hasn't gone into labor by Monday they will induce labor that morning!) And since little Hunter is about to be born, Honey-do and I have been talking baby for a while now! How exciting, right?!? 

Wrong. I am terrified! Mostly because I am the one that has to have said baby. I am the one who has a human being growing inside me for 9 months. I am the one who is responsible for having a healthy, bundle of joy. I don't think that will be possible if I am not healthy in the first place, right? 

So now my dieting and exercising is jumping into full speed mode. My goal is to lose a significant amount of weight before I get pregnant. Which, if I do my calculations correctly, stick to my plan, and as long as my body cooperates, it could be August/September!!!! WOW, right?

----

See how I get sidetracked very easily when I should be writing about Dust Control and Environmental Protection in Feedlots. I just can't get motivated. And that really stinks, because I am the type of writer who likes to have a solid intro/lead before I can write the rest of the story/feature. I want to make sure it starts out great before I bore you with all the details. :) 

If anyone has any suggestions on how to start talking about dust control, please let me know.... My job depends on it!

What I'm listening to

I am in love with Heidi Newfield's (ex-lead singer to country trio Trick Pony) newest song: Johnny and June. See her myspace page here.

I also enjoy Fall Out Boy's version to an old Michael Jackson classic: Beat it. You can watch the music video on YouTube here.

And then, my fave. King George's newest song: I saw God today. View video here. It speaks to me. So I am at work and tried to upload a great pic of my dear, sweet Georgie Porgie... but my work computer won't let me. So click here to see God's wonderful creation of a man.

It's not a Wordless Wednesday...

I was going to just post a great picture I took of my cousin a few years ago and call it a wordless wednesday. But then something happened. Now I must speak. 

I went into the bathroom at work and Julie was already in there moisturizing herself in front of the mirror. Not weird yet I guess. But then... she started talking to me. I was in the stall going pee and she started talking to me. Asking me how things were going in editorial today... telling me that she was bored and reading a book today... informing me that she would much rather be at home gardening than sitting at her desk at work reading a book. 

To some this may not be weird... BUT I FREAKED OUT. Don't talk to me while I am peeing. That is supposed to me my own special time to myself. I've never been the type of girl to get up from a group thing and tell the girls "I need to go to the little girls room" so that they will all follow. That's just not me. I can pee alone, garsh darn it. 

But then I sit back and think about it. While in college, me and the Mandy's were pretty much glued to each other's hips at times. We always went to the bathroom at the same time. Our biological clocks were TOTALLY in sync. So why did Julie's talking to me freak me out? 

mmmmm????? Weird. 

Just another manic Monday...

Boy howdy... I'm tired. Going back to Oklahoma for the weekend really wears me out. (And I'm not that old.) It's about a 6 1/2 hour drive from my house to my mom and dad's. And that drive is long. I don't know how anyone could live farther from their parents' without becoming frequent flyers. I told Honey-do he should get a pilots license and small plane to take us back and forth on our quick trips to our parents' houses.

I had a great weekend at the parents'. It was really a fun time. It began with a fun baby shower for my college roommate! I can't believe that in less than a month our little Hunter will be here.

This is Mandy, my best friend, and Nikki, her future sister-in-law and shower hostess.

This is the best picture of Mandy! Really shows her true colors! Doesn't she look awesome for an eight month along pregnant girl! :)

After the shower I got to visit my grandparents and go to dinner with them... always a fun time.

Then, Sunday. A beautiful morning! Remember now, I work for a livestock publication. So, I thought I would get up that beautiful Sunday morning and go take pictures of the cattle and try to get some really good shots for the magazine. However, I didn't realize that my talents would be need elsewhere. I was roped into helping doctor the babies. They (dad and Matt) lost two baby calves to scours. So we needed to give the remaining babies preventative medication. —That's right PETA people, we animal agriculturalists love our animals and take care of them when they are sick. (Whoa, sorry. I can easily turn that into another post too!)

This is brother. Isn't he adorable?

This is brother wrestlin' a heifer calf.

This is brother all cocky! But isn't he a cutie! Watch out girls! :)

Then, I had the most wonderful brisket lunch at my other grandparents! My grandma makes her own barbecue recipe — once I try it I will post the recipe and photos — and has FINALLY shared it with me! :) I think that she is finally coming to terms that I am an adult now. And she told me how proud she was of me and my husband. I got a little teary-eyed. It's not everyday that woman says something like that to me. In fact for years I thought she despised me. (That could be another story too! I think I could write a novel about my screwy family!)

But overall, this weekend was a great one. I miss my family but am glad to be back home to KS. And all weekend there were no talks of my weight, no worries about work (another day folks, another day), and most of all no stress. I was able to relax. It was nice.

But now. It's Monday.

It's raining.

I've never been able to pay attention very long. When in school, be it elementary, high school or college, I was not one that paid that close of attention to the teacher, instructor, etc. I would like to think that shouldn't be a problem anymore. I am a working girl now, am I not? I have a real-world job and real-world responsibilities now, do I not? (Whoa... sounding a little Mary Poppins-ish there!) 

However, it is raining outside. Storms swept across Oklahoma last night and I missed it. :( I missed the weather chasers, the lighting strikes and the ever loved family trips to the cellar. I missed it. It's like a family tradition in my home state -- Spring Storms. And I missed it. 

And now. It's raining here in Missouri. And, now, I can't pay attention to my work. I am constently looking at the weather and wondering where the heck I am going to find protection up here. Sure, work has a basement... but I've never gone through a storm in a basement. My family has a nice, safe cement whole in the ground. Basement. HA. 

OK. Sorry. Enough rambling. Point is... I've got work to do. But not the attention span with which to do it. 

AKA... I need help!

a blah kind of day

Work is boring today. I have the absolute perfect dream job for someone in my profession. I am an assistant editor to a very successful livestock publication. I get to write, edit, and compile other people's compositions for our magazine. However, I don't get to do some of the other things I really would love to be doing. 

I would rather...

• be taking photos

• designing an advertisement, brochure, flyer, poster, etc.

• building a web site

• golf

• swim, tan, surf, waterski

• knit, sew, paint

WHOA... OK, that list got a little carried away towards the end. 

You see, it is starting to be nice outside — well not today, 'for today it is rainy — and I would rather be anywhere other than at my office, in my cubical, and bored to tears. Literally, tears.

I'm having that emotional time of the month anyway, so every little thing gets me teary-eyed. Last night, I got out of breath walking up the stairs... I cried. Honey-do asked me what I wanted for dinner... I cried. Honey-do apologized for making me cry... I cried. 

And, today... I cried. I cried because I am tired, I have the cramps, I'm bored, I wish I had a more interesting job, my-boss-doesn't-like-it-when-I-talk-to-the-advertising-people-but-I-like-them-and-want-to-talk-to-them-so-am-I-making-her-secretly-mad-at-me-if-I-continue-to-talk-to-them? Cried, cried, cried. 

I know. Pathetic. 

See... this is what happens to me when I am not keeping busy. So garsh darn it... I need something to do. :(

Oh yeah... at a later time I will have to spill more about the boss. Boy-howdy... I've only worked here three months and I already have some good gripes about her. 

And, as for the weight issue... this week is SO not the time to talk about that!  

Haunted by my past

This weekend was a haunting one--- ironic? It was supposed to be filled with joy and laughter, 

cause it was Easter. But, I wasn't laughing. 

I had asked my mother to bring me pictures from my high school days. I noticed I had none as I have been unpacking things in our new house. She brought me quite a few. Now, let me remind you that high school for me  was a mere four years ago. Man.... I was skinny. How I wish I could look like that again. How dreadful that I have gain so much. 

Most bloggers post happy before and after shots. The ones of before, where they were fat... and the ones of after, where they lost the weight. I will post a before and after of the opposite. 

Now, I know this "before" is of my senior cruise and prom... but look how skinny and nice looking I was. 

And this is me in December before graduation from college. Yep, that's my Honey-do! I sure do love him. Not to mention the weight gain on me! Whoo-hoo! LOL.

However, I hope to post a new "After the After" shot. That will be me losing the weight I gained during college. Yes, the great freshman 15 -- that turned into the freshman 50 the sophomore 20, the junior 10 and so forth and so on. 

I am totally embarrassed to say how much I weigh right now. Maybe as I lose weight and get to my goal of 150 lb. I will reveal the total amount lost or the total I am now. But, I just can't. I don't think I can face it being publicly stated -- just yet. I know I will when I can accomplish the loss.  Pray for me. Pray that I can quit the Dr. Pepper, fried foods, and overall laziness. Pray. 

Doin' my part...

This week has been a crazy one. Don't get me wrong. I have felt better this week by far. (Flu season really kicked me hard this year.) However, last weekend was the best I had in a long time. 

Honey-do and I went back to Oklahoma to visit family. His Nanny is in the nursing home and not feeling so great right now. Anyhoo-- I had the opportunity this past weekend to sing again! YAY! Here's the story.

A childhood church friend of mine, Aaron, is serving in the Marines. He has been stationed in Iraq. Before he left he had requested that Jacqulin (another friend from church) and I sang for him one last time. Living in KC now and being a big kid and all, I didn't get the opportunity to sing for him before he was shipped overseas. Well, Jacqulin and I thought we would sing for him anyways. We got together at my mom-in-laws church in Sapulpa and recorded the song Aaron had requested. 

It felt so good to sing again! I realized that I do have talent and I love to sing. So, my goal is to buy a few new accompaniment CDs and practice, practice, practice... so that the next time I am in Oklahoma for church I will sing. I'll let you know how that goes! :)

Beef! Its What's for Dinner!

Now, in case you aren't aware, I'm a full-blood country girl at heart. Honey-do brought me to the big city giving me a case of "Green Acres" in reverse. I was recently reading a blog by a past National Beef Ambassador. There I saw an animal rights activist giving her a what-for about her passion for agriculture, livestock and the beef industry. 

I am gainfully employed by the beef industry and found this to be appalling. I have always known that people really are offended by agriculture and have always heard about the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) group. However, I have never truly been touched by things they have said. 

Well, sir. That just made me think. How can we (all people) find a way to agree to disagree. Maybe animal activists have a point. I am pretty sure that the beef industry and agricultural industry in general have a better point. But at what point will the two extremes quit arguing. 

Now, I am all about eating animals. I believe God put the animals on Earth for humans to care for, as well as putting them here for our nourishment. I agree with Nolz that farmers and ranchers care for animals from pasture to plate. 

I feel this is something that the agricultural industry needs to make more public. We need to show more, be it through blogs, video, podcasts, televsion, radio, etc., of how we care for animals and treat them with respect -- even at harvest. As true as I believe, animals are meant for food. As that, I care for my beef in the pasture, feedyard, harvest and while cooking. I wish I knew a way to show these animal rights activist how much I care for animals and love them whole-heartedly. I am a lover of animals. 

The worst Flu Season ever ...

2008 has proven to give us the worst Flu season ever. Co-workers have been dropping like flies around here, and now it's my turn. And isn't always nice how you get sick at all the wrong times? 

I, for instance, have plans to return to Oklahoma this weekend and record a song with a friend from high school to send to another friend from high school that is stationed in Iraq. I, however, have recently developed a cough that would make Pertussis victims ache.  

Now, I am taking care of myself and trying to get over this as soon as possible. But, I think that a nice long afternoon nap would be nice. I wish I wasn't working. Although, I think I might just build myself a nap area under my desk. A shelf for an alarm, a pillow, blanket and of course a foam cot-like mattress to lay on. Wouldn't that be loverly?

Not as young as I used to be!

So, it may be quite funny to say this, but, "I'm not as young as I used to be!" Why is this so funny? I am only 22 years old. You would think that shopping all day and staying up late at night wouldn't be hard on me or my body. ... But, this weekend with our cousins has left me exhausted. 

However, don't dare think I didn't enjoy every minute of it! We went shopping on the Plaza, ate at a real KC BBQ joint, and bowled like we've never bowled before! :) So much fun! I really enjoyed the company and hope they had equally as good of a time. Will try to get some pictures or something up soon! I promise!

Deja Vu

I normally do my best thinking, soul searching, religious thinking and singing while I drive home from work -- seeing as how my drive is an hour long. The other day driving home I had the feeling of deja vu. This got me thinking. 

What is the meaning of a deja vu? I would like to think that it is God's way of showing me that I am on the right track. That he had planned that moment out before it happened, and as it happened the way he meant it to happen, he showed me -- through the deja vu. 

I immediately called my mom to tell her what I thought -- as I do when I get all my crazy thoughts -- and she told me that she thinks I could be on to something. But I really began thinking about deja vu's again today. I rarely ever got them. Does that mean I am not following God's plan accordingly? Am I not living my life to His fullest potential? 

However, I seem to be having them more and more lately. I honestly believe that could be because I am singing again, and because I have decided to live right by Him and rededicate my life to Him and live my life to its fullest potential through His direction. 

The weekend is closing in on us and me and Hubby are having family visit. I am very excited and can't wait to spend the weekend with them! Hopefully, I will have opportunities to take some great pictures and post them! I do love photography and hope to get back in the action of the camera world.

As always, let your voice sing loudly!

A great day to start a blog.

Today is the first day of my blogging experience. I have to say it's all because of my cousin Amy and her love for all things blog (click here to visit her blog). Through this blog "Voice of an Angel," I hope to track my road to voice recovery as I attempt to start singing again. I also hope to become 'one' with God and get back to His way of life. As well as use this blogging experience as a way for me to deal with some of my more intimate issues of self-image, self-confidence and day-to-day stress. 

I hope to meet new people that share my interests and that can help me on my path back to God.