Weekend Wonders Pt. 1

The marathon I was training for in earlier posts here and here was on Saturday. We had a blast. Well, I actually didn't participate. You see, while I was in the midst of training I found something out about myself.

I am pregnant!!

So, you see. I didn't get to finish my training. I have been experiencing morning sickness for the past 6 weeks. All day, every day. Although, some days are better than others. I haven't made it to the gym to finish training.

But my friend Courtney did AMAZING in her half marathon!! She and her dad (which I am super proud of, too) finished their 13.1 miles in 1 hour 57 minutes. ROCK STARS!! Courtney's husband, Trey, ran the 5K I was supposed to have run. He did awesome too: 31 minutes!!

It was such a beautiful day! I'm glad the weather participated for them!

Now, as for me and my ailments. LOL

I am 11 weeks today. Our little bean is due November 1. We are SUPER excited about this blessing! I'm sorry I haven't told any of you sooner, but now we are just about out of the dreaded first trimester. So, I figured it'd be OK to let the cat out of the bag. (I don't really get that saying: cat out the bag. It's quite awful, putting a cat in a bag.... but that's another post... lol)

Stay tuned for pt. 2. :)

emotional baggage

Tonight's episode of the Biggest Loser really hit home with me. The pink team's Ashley had her emotional breakthrough about losing her father to cancer. That's not the part that hit me, this was: she didn't go home and see him that often because every time she went home her family (mostly her dad) would constantly ridicule her because of her weight. Verbal abuse, basically. He would tell her she needed more exercise. He would survey everything she ever ate. He would comment on her weight before even saying hello. Her breakthrough was she was sorry she didn't tell him that his comments hurt her feelings. She was also really upset that she let come between them while he was dying. She never got to apologize for not coming home, and she never got to let him know why.

That hit me hard, because, honestly... it's exactly what my family does to me. It hurts my feelings. It makes me feel horrible. I, too, sometimes dread going home... because I don't want to deal with my family judging me and how I look. I don't know if that is my "baggage" or not. I don't have a real answer for why I gained weight.

I was always in shape in high school. Sure, I had weight ups and downs, like most people... but in all, I was pretty in shape. I played basketball, softball and was a cheerleader. I ran in the gym with Coach Pulliam and he had me lifting weights my sophomore-senior years. I was in good shape. After graduation I went on a cruise with about 15 other kids from my senior class. I walked around the cruise ship in a bikini. I was so happy.

After that, I'm not really sure anything major changed, except college. lol I started college, met the love of my life... but was no longer exercising the way I did in high school. And in just those 4 years of college I put on the weight. Not just the freshman 15... more than that.

I know I may never have my high school body back... but that was only 5 years ago. I think if I work hard enough I might be able to get it back. Let's just hope that getting the emotional baggage out of the way via this blog will help. I don't think I am ready to say anything to my family about it. It's hard enough not going up and deleting it from here. But, I am going to quickly click the publish button before I change my mind.

Just please, pray for me to continue going to the gym and working hard. I know I can do it!!

what i've been up to

I'm sorry I have neglected you. I've been super busy... it seems. It seems as though I am always doing something and never have time to do anything (you should see my house). But, in all reality, I haven't done much lately. I sleep til 10... eat breakfast, eat lunch with Perry when he comes in, then my personal trainer (my best friend Courtney) and I hit the gym from 1:30 til about 4 everyday. I then come home and rest... for the rest of the night. See, not much going on... but I feel so busy.

I still have no job. But, I feel like getting my life back to normal (weight loss, stress levels, etc.) is my job right now. I'm extremely happy. I haven't been this happy since I first met Honey-do. :) My full-time job is making myself the best me I can be; not only for me, but for Honey-do, too!!

Honey-do and I are trying to save up for a nice road trip with our friends Courtney and Trey. Our aunt and uncle just got back from a delicious road trip to New Orleans. We had thought New Orleans at first... but then Courtney and I got to reading our favorite Nicholas Sparks novels and fell in love with the idea of staying in North Carolina in a house on the beach. The husbands aren't as crazy about that idea as we are... but won't that be fun!!! :)

So, I have a new mini-goal... lose enough inches/pounds to buy a new swimsuit for the beach this summer!! :)

I'm getting there... I am also doing good on my training for the 5K in April. 5K=3.1 miles. I can do three miles on the treadmill in 47:30. which isn't last place, according to last year's results. And, it's only February!! My legs hurt, like crazy, but I'm no quitter!!

She said WHAT?!?!?!?!?

So, my friend Courtney is such a huge inspiration to me. I've really been needing someone like her in my life. It's been a week of exercising and I feel great!!! I didn't think it was possible. I don't exercise quite the way they do on NBC's show The Biggest Loser. But, Courtney and I have been staying at the YMCA everyday for at least 3 hours.

Today, I ran 4.5 miles on an elliptical machine. Then swam 10 laps, treaded water for 10 minutes, and kicked for a while. Needless to say, I am exhausted. But, if I want a bikini body by summer, this is how I have to do it!! :) haha

I understand I may never look like my high school prom pic again, but I won't stop trying!! :)

I need to make myself start eating more healthy. My biggest downfall right now is that I am too tired after my workouts to cook; and the healthiest meals are cooked at home, when you know exactly what you are putting in it.

But, tonight... I think I will attempt this: Chicken Cacciatore (from this week's Biggest Loser episode!!)

It's nice to create goals for yourself when you are attempting a major lifestyle change. I have quite a bit of weight to lose, so I have created mini-goals within my major goal. My mini-goals are 20 pounds at a time.

A huge goal of mine; however, is to run a 5K in April. That is actually about 3 miles. Which, shouldn't be too hard for me right now, because I can do a solid 2.5 on the elliptical. I'm scared of the treadmill, but will try to do a little more on it each day. Today I did .5 miles at 3.7 mph. So, tomorrow I will try to do a little more a little faster. :) Let's hope I can do it!!

If I succeed at the 5K in April, I will train for a half marathon (13.1 miles) in October!! :) We'll see!!

Before and After

Here's a before shot of me.... this is from when I was in High school..... I miss this body:

But, here is me now... this picture is from two weekends ago at my cousin Ashley's wedding.

I'm the one on the far right. 

Now, I realize that I am not as active as I was while in high school, so I probably won't ever be that skinny again... but, a girl can hope and dream... right??

I'm off to the gym!!

NEWS FLASH

I have officially announced my "retirement," if you will, from the current workplace. 

I love my job here as an assistant editor. But my drive back and forth, as well as the unstable work hours, well, basically drove me crazy. So, Honey-do and I decided it was time to consider leaving the workplace and start working from home. 

I will be freelance writing for the same magazine I am at now, as well as branching out to a few new magazines around this area. I am looking forward to some downtime though!! 

My hopes, prayers and goal is to get my stress levels in check and begin a great daily diet and exercise routine! We will see how that goes! :)

Here's a small weight update

So, my friend from work told me she was reading this and it was great.... and I thought to myself... "Self, what on earth made it so great?" I really couldn't remember what some of my older post said. So, I came on here and read my stuff. It's funny how you can vividly remember a feeling or something that was causing me to feel the way I felt during those older posts. 

I promise I will get to the beef of this post soon!

However, I haven't been doing what I promised myself I would do. And that is dieting. I like to pretend I am, I suppose. But I haven't. Which makes me sad now, looking back at older posts. I am still the same person, with the same hopes and dreams (children, activities, etc.) but I am still the same weight. I haven't done anything about it... 

Well, today is the day my friends. Today, I will change. No matter what time I get home from work tonight, I will go walking. Even though it is honey-do's birthday and I have to cook him an elaborate meal, I will watch my carbs, calories, fat, etc. I WANT TO CHANGE. 

Pray for me. :-/

a blah kind of day

Work is boring today. I have the absolute perfect dream job for someone in my profession. I am an assistant editor to a very successful livestock publication. I get to write, edit, and compile other people's compositions for our magazine. However, I don't get to do some of the other things I really would love to be doing. 

I would rather...

• be taking photos

• designing an advertisement, brochure, flyer, poster, etc.

• building a web site

• golf

• swim, tan, surf, waterski

• knit, sew, paint

WHOA... OK, that list got a little carried away towards the end. 

You see, it is starting to be nice outside — well not today, 'for today it is rainy — and I would rather be anywhere other than at my office, in my cubical, and bored to tears. Literally, tears.

I'm having that emotional time of the month anyway, so every little thing gets me teary-eyed. Last night, I got out of breath walking up the stairs... I cried. Honey-do asked me what I wanted for dinner... I cried. Honey-do apologized for making me cry... I cried. 

And, today... I cried. I cried because I am tired, I have the cramps, I'm bored, I wish I had a more interesting job, my-boss-doesn't-like-it-when-I-talk-to-the-advertising-people-but-I-like-them-and-want-to-talk-to-them-so-am-I-making-her-secretly-mad-at-me-if-I-continue-to-talk-to-them? Cried, cried, cried. 

I know. Pathetic. 

See... this is what happens to me when I am not keeping busy. So garsh darn it... I need something to do. :(

Oh yeah... at a later time I will have to spill more about the boss. Boy-howdy... I've only worked here three months and I already have some good gripes about her. 

And, as for the weight issue... this week is SO not the time to talk about that!