Homesick

I'm having the most horrible day. It's one of those days where everything I do or say seems to make the people surrounding me upset, and that makes me upset. It's one of those days that makes me wish to be back in Oklahoma so very badly. 

I want to be able to see my mom, or my nana. I wish I could be closer to them. I hate that if I want to see them I have to drive 6+ hours just to get there. I could really use a hug from my Papa... even if he doesn't know why... he always makes me feel better with a hug from him. 

I love that Honey-do is happy here. I love that his job makes me happy. I love our house. I love being with him. But, I miss my family. I miss his family. 

Honey-do's mother has been sick for a week or so and I wish I could make her some soup. Or go over and make his father dinner so she doesn't have to worry about it. Not to mention, I know how badly she is missing her son right now and wants to be able to see him, too. 

Maybe I'm just being a big baby. I guess I am. But is it wrong to be so homesick? 

Rambling

I've always been a decent writer. I mean, I was in magazine publication. I am still, sorta. But, writing has never been something I have ever been really fond of. Especially forced writing. (Yes, forced writing is what I mean. Forced writing: when you HAVE to do it.)

Remember back to your high school English class where your teacher told you that you were to write a 1,500 word essay on Shakespeare. That is where my loathe — scratch that... loathe is too strong a word — STRONG HATRED of forced writing began. 

I went to college for communications. Not necessarily writing. However, our senior capstone class was producing a magazine. Each student researched a wrote a story for the magazine. Then followed it through production laying out the text and graphics. That was the fun part for me. Arranging the words on the page, but not necessarily writing them. 

Now, don't get me wrong. I like writing ... sometimes. I enjoy it when it is my idea. I did well with my Cowboy Journal story for college because it was my story idea and about something I cared about. 

But, I learned while working for the large cattle breed magazine I was an assistant editor, that you can't always choose the stories you want. And that made me realize that I wasn't in the right job for me. 

So, now. I am working from home. (Still writing for the magazine.) But, I am trying to spread my wings and figure out what it is that I really want to be when I grow up, so to speak. 

As of now, I am really leaning towards photography. I sincerely hope this dream of mine works out. I am photographing a couple weddings this year and am looking forward to getting a whole slew (is that the correct spelling?) of clients. 

So keep me in your thoughts and prayers. Because, as you can see ... I have a lot of issues to work out these days.

On a lighter note ... Honey-do and I joined a gym!!! The real diet and exercise program begins now!!!

Back to business

So, I am back to work now and all caught up. Sorry I've been away so long. Honey-do's grandmother passed away last week, so we were in OK for the funeral and to be with our family. 

And as soon as we got home, all things broke loose at work. We were in the middle of a large production cycle and my boss kinda lost her nerve. I ended up working a lot of overtime last week, and even missed a photography opportunity last weekend. What does all this mean? One very angry AngelVoice.

A very good family friend got married last weekend. Now, mind you, they had really only asked me to be the photographer at this wedding like two weeks before it, I still said yes! I was looking forward to a wonderful experience of a first-time wedding shoot. I'm still a very green photographer when it comes to weddings, so I needed the practice! Not to mention, I would have been at the wedding anyway, right? 

Nope. A "work-weekend" was needed. And because a co-worker had asked off for a wedding that took place the same weekend as my friends, he got the privilege of not having to come in that Saturday. I didn't know I had to ask off for weekends, or run my weekend plans over with my boss. How silly of me to not realize my 8 to 4:30 Monday through Friday job, my 40-hours per week salary-type of job, needed me to ask off for my Saturdays. 

I however, had to call my friend and tell them that their photographer couldn't make it. How awful did I feel? I was sick to my stomach.

So I worked. I wrote stories, edited pictures, edited other people's stories and layouts, worked, worked, worked. Missed the wedding, and then remembered I was also supposed to call my cousin and her fiance for an engagement session while I was home. SO I had to call her an apologize for having to miss. Then I worked some more. 

Come Monday morning, we are still crunching time to try to get our magazine finished. But, something happens that make me lose my nerve. That co-worked who had to be gone for a wedding, the wedding he "asked off for," well, that wedding was Friday night. His saturday and sunday was spent playing in a co-ed softball tournament in his hometown!!!!!!! 

Imagine my rage when I heard this. 

HE KNOWS HOW IMPORTANT PHOTOGRAPHY IS TO ME. HE KNOWS I HAD BEEN SUPER-EXCITED TO BE ASKED TO SHOOT THIS WEDDING. HE KNEW WE WERE SUPPOSED TO COME IN AND WORK. Yet he still chose to go play softball. He still got out of it because our boss thinks he was at a wedding. 

But I'm over it, really! :)