It's raining.

I've never been able to pay attention very long. When in school, be it elementary, high school or college, I was not one that paid that close of attention to the teacher, instructor, etc. I would like to think that shouldn't be a problem anymore. I am a working girl now, am I not? I have a real-world job and real-world responsibilities now, do I not? (Whoa... sounding a little Mary Poppins-ish there!) 

However, it is raining outside. Storms swept across Oklahoma last night and I missed it. :( I missed the weather chasers, the lighting strikes and the ever loved family trips to the cellar. I missed it. It's like a family tradition in my home state -- Spring Storms. And I missed it. 

And now. It's raining here in Missouri. And, now, I can't pay attention to my work. I am constently looking at the weather and wondering where the heck I am going to find protection up here. Sure, work has a basement... but I've never gone through a storm in a basement. My family has a nice, safe cement whole in the ground. Basement. HA. 

OK. Sorry. Enough rambling. Point is... I've got work to do. But not the attention span with which to do it. 

AKA... I need help!

a blah kind of day

Work is boring today. I have the absolute perfect dream job for someone in my profession. I am an assistant editor to a very successful livestock publication. I get to write, edit, and compile other people's compositions for our magazine. However, I don't get to do some of the other things I really would love to be doing. 

I would rather...

• be taking photos

• designing an advertisement, brochure, flyer, poster, etc.

• building a web site

• golf

• swim, tan, surf, waterski

• knit, sew, paint

WHOA... OK, that list got a little carried away towards the end. 

You see, it is starting to be nice outside — well not today, 'for today it is rainy — and I would rather be anywhere other than at my office, in my cubical, and bored to tears. Literally, tears.

I'm having that emotional time of the month anyway, so every little thing gets me teary-eyed. Last night, I got out of breath walking up the stairs... I cried. Honey-do asked me what I wanted for dinner... I cried. Honey-do apologized for making me cry... I cried. 

And, today... I cried. I cried because I am tired, I have the cramps, I'm bored, I wish I had a more interesting job, my-boss-doesn't-like-it-when-I-talk-to-the-advertising-people-but-I-like-them-and-want-to-talk-to-them-so-am-I-making-her-secretly-mad-at-me-if-I-continue-to-talk-to-them? Cried, cried, cried. 

I know. Pathetic. 

See... this is what happens to me when I am not keeping busy. So garsh darn it... I need something to do. :(

Oh yeah... at a later time I will have to spill more about the boss. Boy-howdy... I've only worked here three months and I already have some good gripes about her. 

And, as for the weight issue... this week is SO not the time to talk about that!  

Haunted by my past

This weekend was a haunting one--- ironic? It was supposed to be filled with joy and laughter, 

cause it was Easter. But, I wasn't laughing. 

I had asked my mother to bring me pictures from my high school days. I noticed I had none as I have been unpacking things in our new house. She brought me quite a few. Now, let me remind you that high school for me  was a mere four years ago. Man.... I was skinny. How I wish I could look like that again. How dreadful that I have gain so much. 

Most bloggers post happy before and after shots. The ones of before, where they were fat... and the ones of after, where they lost the weight. I will post a before and after of the opposite. 

Now, I know this "before" is of my senior cruise and prom... but look how skinny and nice looking I was. 

And this is me in December before graduation from college. Yep, that's my Honey-do! I sure do love him. Not to mention the weight gain on me! Whoo-hoo! LOL.

However, I hope to post a new "After the After" shot. That will be me losing the weight I gained during college. Yes, the great freshman 15 -- that turned into the freshman 50 the sophomore 20, the junior 10 and so forth and so on. 

I am totally embarrassed to say how much I weigh right now. Maybe as I lose weight and get to my goal of 150 lb. I will reveal the total amount lost or the total I am now. But, I just can't. I don't think I can face it being publicly stated -- just yet. I know I will when I can accomplish the loss.  Pray for me. Pray that I can quit the Dr. Pepper, fried foods, and overall laziness. Pray. 

Doin' my part...

This week has been a crazy one. Don't get me wrong. I have felt better this week by far. (Flu season really kicked me hard this year.) However, last weekend was the best I had in a long time. 

Honey-do and I went back to Oklahoma to visit family. His Nanny is in the nursing home and not feeling so great right now. Anyhoo-- I had the opportunity this past weekend to sing again! YAY! Here's the story.

A childhood church friend of mine, Aaron, is serving in the Marines. He has been stationed in Iraq. Before he left he had requested that Jacqulin (another friend from church) and I sang for him one last time. Living in KC now and being a big kid and all, I didn't get the opportunity to sing for him before he was shipped overseas. Well, Jacqulin and I thought we would sing for him anyways. We got together at my mom-in-laws church in Sapulpa and recorded the song Aaron had requested. 

It felt so good to sing again! I realized that I do have talent and I love to sing. So, my goal is to buy a few new accompaniment CDs and practice, practice, practice... so that the next time I am in Oklahoma for church I will sing. I'll let you know how that goes! :)

Beef! Its What's for Dinner!

Now, in case you aren't aware, I'm a full-blood country girl at heart. Honey-do brought me to the big city giving me a case of "Green Acres" in reverse. I was recently reading a blog by a past National Beef Ambassador. There I saw an animal rights activist giving her a what-for about her passion for agriculture, livestock and the beef industry. 

I am gainfully employed by the beef industry and found this to be appalling. I have always known that people really are offended by agriculture and have always heard about the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) group. However, I have never truly been touched by things they have said. 

Well, sir. That just made me think. How can we (all people) find a way to agree to disagree. Maybe animal activists have a point. I am pretty sure that the beef industry and agricultural industry in general have a better point. But at what point will the two extremes quit arguing. 

Now, I am all about eating animals. I believe God put the animals on Earth for humans to care for, as well as putting them here for our nourishment. I agree with Nolz that farmers and ranchers care for animals from pasture to plate. 

I feel this is something that the agricultural industry needs to make more public. We need to show more, be it through blogs, video, podcasts, televsion, radio, etc., of how we care for animals and treat them with respect -- even at harvest. As true as I believe, animals are meant for food. As that, I care for my beef in the pasture, feedyard, harvest and while cooking. I wish I knew a way to show these animal rights activist how much I care for animals and love them whole-heartedly. I am a lover of animals. 

The worst Flu Season ever ...

2008 has proven to give us the worst Flu season ever. Co-workers have been dropping like flies around here, and now it's my turn. And isn't always nice how you get sick at all the wrong times? 

I, for instance, have plans to return to Oklahoma this weekend and record a song with a friend from high school to send to another friend from high school that is stationed in Iraq. I, however, have recently developed a cough that would make Pertussis victims ache.  

Now, I am taking care of myself and trying to get over this as soon as possible. But, I think that a nice long afternoon nap would be nice. I wish I wasn't working. Although, I think I might just build myself a nap area under my desk. A shelf for an alarm, a pillow, blanket and of course a foam cot-like mattress to lay on. Wouldn't that be loverly?

Not as young as I used to be!

So, it may be quite funny to say this, but, "I'm not as young as I used to be!" Why is this so funny? I am only 22 years old. You would think that shopping all day and staying up late at night wouldn't be hard on me or my body. ... But, this weekend with our cousins has left me exhausted. 

However, don't dare think I didn't enjoy every minute of it! We went shopping on the Plaza, ate at a real KC BBQ joint, and bowled like we've never bowled before! :) So much fun! I really enjoyed the company and hope they had equally as good of a time. Will try to get some pictures or something up soon! I promise!

Deja Vu

I normally do my best thinking, soul searching, religious thinking and singing while I drive home from work -- seeing as how my drive is an hour long. The other day driving home I had the feeling of deja vu. This got me thinking. 

What is the meaning of a deja vu? I would like to think that it is God's way of showing me that I am on the right track. That he had planned that moment out before it happened, and as it happened the way he meant it to happen, he showed me -- through the deja vu. 

I immediately called my mom to tell her what I thought -- as I do when I get all my crazy thoughts -- and she told me that she thinks I could be on to something. But I really began thinking about deja vu's again today. I rarely ever got them. Does that mean I am not following God's plan accordingly? Am I not living my life to His fullest potential? 

However, I seem to be having them more and more lately. I honestly believe that could be because I am singing again, and because I have decided to live right by Him and rededicate my life to Him and live my life to its fullest potential through His direction. 

The weekend is closing in on us and me and Hubby are having family visit. I am very excited and can't wait to spend the weekend with them! Hopefully, I will have opportunities to take some great pictures and post them! I do love photography and hope to get back in the action of the camera world.

As always, let your voice sing loudly!

A great day to start a blog.

Today is the first day of my blogging experience. I have to say it's all because of my cousin Amy and her love for all things blog (click here to visit her blog). Through this blog "Voice of an Angel," I hope to track my road to voice recovery as I attempt to start singing again. I also hope to become 'one' with God and get back to His way of life. As well as use this blogging experience as a way for me to deal with some of my more intimate issues of self-image, self-confidence and day-to-day stress. 

I hope to meet new people that share my interests and that can help me on my path back to God.