sooner than later, right??

I wish. I am expanding my business: photography and design. I'm really excited to get this ball a rollin'. I'm was hoping to get a new web site put together soon and to get it up and running, but things are slowing down. I'm getting stuck on some design aspects. I am afraid it's about time to spend the extra cash and hire a designer.... a web designer!!! I can design things on my own: birth announcements, invitations, banners, T-shirts, etc. But, I am finding it very difficult to design my own web site.

I'm so excited to get this new business up and going!! Hopefully soon, we will start reaping the rewards from owning your own business.

Exciting things this way come

Just wait my fellow bloggers!!!! VERY exciting, VERY promising things are going to be appearing soon!!!! :) Keep your crossables crossed!!!

emotional baggage

Tonight's episode of the Biggest Loser really hit home with me. The pink team's Ashley had her emotional breakthrough about losing her father to cancer. That's not the part that hit me, this was: she didn't go home and see him that often because every time she went home her family (mostly her dad) would constantly ridicule her because of her weight. Verbal abuse, basically. He would tell her she needed more exercise. He would survey everything she ever ate. He would comment on her weight before even saying hello. Her breakthrough was she was sorry she didn't tell him that his comments hurt her feelings. She was also really upset that she let come between them while he was dying. She never got to apologize for not coming home, and she never got to let him know why.

That hit me hard, because, honestly... it's exactly what my family does to me. It hurts my feelings. It makes me feel horrible. I, too, sometimes dread going home... because I don't want to deal with my family judging me and how I look. I don't know if that is my "baggage" or not. I don't have a real answer for why I gained weight.

I was always in shape in high school. Sure, I had weight ups and downs, like most people... but in all, I was pretty in shape. I played basketball, softball and was a cheerleader. I ran in the gym with Coach Pulliam and he had me lifting weights my sophomore-senior years. I was in good shape. After graduation I went on a cruise with about 15 other kids from my senior class. I walked around the cruise ship in a bikini. I was so happy.

After that, I'm not really sure anything major changed, except college. lol I started college, met the love of my life... but was no longer exercising the way I did in high school. And in just those 4 years of college I put on the weight. Not just the freshman 15... more than that.

I know I may never have my high school body back... but that was only 5 years ago. I think if I work hard enough I might be able to get it back. Let's just hope that getting the emotional baggage out of the way via this blog will help. I don't think I am ready to say anything to my family about it. It's hard enough not going up and deleting it from here. But, I am going to quickly click the publish button before I change my mind.

Just please, pray for me to continue going to the gym and working hard. I know I can do it!!

what i've been up to

I'm sorry I have neglected you. I've been super busy... it seems. It seems as though I am always doing something and never have time to do anything (you should see my house). But, in all reality, I haven't done much lately. I sleep til 10... eat breakfast, eat lunch with Perry when he comes in, then my personal trainer (my best friend Courtney) and I hit the gym from 1:30 til about 4 everyday. I then come home and rest... for the rest of the night. See, not much going on... but I feel so busy.

I still have no job. But, I feel like getting my life back to normal (weight loss, stress levels, etc.) is my job right now. I'm extremely happy. I haven't been this happy since I first met Honey-do. :) My full-time job is making myself the best me I can be; not only for me, but for Honey-do, too!!

Honey-do and I are trying to save up for a nice road trip with our friends Courtney and Trey. Our aunt and uncle just got back from a delicious road trip to New Orleans. We had thought New Orleans at first... but then Courtney and I got to reading our favorite Nicholas Sparks novels and fell in love with the idea of staying in North Carolina in a house on the beach. The husbands aren't as crazy about that idea as we are... but won't that be fun!!! :)

So, I have a new mini-goal... lose enough inches/pounds to buy a new swimsuit for the beach this summer!! :)

I'm getting there... I am also doing good on my training for the 5K in April. 5K=3.1 miles. I can do three miles on the treadmill in 47:30. which isn't last place, according to last year's results. And, it's only February!! My legs hurt, like crazy, but I'm no quitter!!